Get to Know the Founder - Part 1
Hello, I am Monika Cawood and in this part of the Blog I will share my life story.
The morning, we applied for our marriage license.
In late August of 2021, around the time I was considering giving up on Love, I saw my new neighbor - and had an overwhelming feeling that I couldn’t live without him, even though I did not know his name. So I did something bold: I began to write my life story, planning to leave it on his doorstep - laying bare the good, the bad, and the ugly. I figured if he still wanted to meet me after reading it, then it would be worth the risk.
To not keep you in suspense: we spoke before I finished writing and immediately moved in together. So, he never got to read it - and neither did anyone else. Until now.
This is where I have decided to share it - a few pages at a time.
We’ve been together every day since the moment we connected. We got engaged three months after we spoke and married two months after that. My husband, Robert Cawood, is my best friend. He loves and supports me unconditionally. And now I understand why I felt like I couldn’t breathe without him, when I first saw him.
Part 1 - The Beginning
A Lifetenders Story - Love is Always a Choice
You may wonder what a “Lifetender” is - well it’s a word I made up to represent people as creators of their own lives. Think of a bartender: someone who mixes drinks that shift a person’s mood, or state. In the same way, I believe we each mix our own internal “concoctions” - hormones and thoughts - based on what we choose to focus on. We can tend to our lives with love, joy, pleasure and optimism - or we can fixate on anger, hate, worry and despair. Either way, we are lifetenders. Our focus becomes the recipe that determines our emotions, our health, our relationships, and how we experience life.
Often we feel helpless - victim of circumstances, people, or illness. But the truth is: we always have a choice. A choice to be present to the gift of life, to be grateful for each breath. I’ve chosen to see the light for as long as I can remember.
I was a little blonde girl with perfect curls, playing in an orchard and fixing things with my great-grandfather. I was surrounded by flowers, vegetables and fruit - it was my version of the Garden of Eden. That little girl learned to live life like a dream, knowing that reality is just a concept. For me, life has always been about living in the moment. Letting go adapting, loving - and sometimes hiding. This is my story. Mine to feel, to reflect on, and to share.
Growing up in Poland was beautiful, despite the legacy of wars and communism. My family gave us the gift of self-sufficiency - we learned the value of growing our own food and becoming independent early on. I’ve always been wild, spontaneous, and a little impulsive - though now at 45 (41 when I wrote this), I’m learning to think before I act. I was the youngest of three girls for the first 14 years of my life. My sisters were close, and I was the “bother,” which taught me to find joy on my own
By five, I was hiking through the woods alone, soaking up the wonder of nature. I walked long distances to school, and religion classes. At seven, I walked to church choir practice by myself, which resulted in being sexually assaulted by a stranger. Miraculously, I escaped before I was fully violated - something I credit to pure luck or divine protection from guardian angels.
Every day brought adventure. I peeked in the window of a public bath house, raced across a train bridge just before the train arrived, and jumped onto and off moving trains to go mushroom picking with my grandmother. By 10, I could sneak onto cross-border day trains and travel without anyone knowing.
Despite the darkness around me - depression, alcoholism, abuse - I felt magic in the air. I carried within me a quiet knowing that hard work and sacrifice didn’t have to define me. I held tightly to the belief that life could shift in an instant, like being sprinkled with fairy dust. With every breath, I try to remain aware… present… and open.
Thank you for being here, for connecting, and for being vulnerable. I promise to always lead by example. As you get to know me, I hope you’ll feel more comfortable sharing your own stories. Our wisdom, our lived experience and our discoveries are truly priceless.
Sincerely,
Monika Cawood
